36-year-old husband backs out of promise to wife during their divorce when he expects to use her home as storage indefinitely while he gets back on his feet, she revokes her offer: 'Now he's sulking'

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 18, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Divorce is rarely amicable, but when it is then it means it's probably two people who are either mature and emotionally intelligent, or they really loved each other and respect each other. In the story here, things seem to be amicable. The couple are getting a divorce and the issue of finances has come up. He makes much more than she does, but she's in a better situation in that she bought a home. Everything is in her name, and he didn't meet the qualifications for owning a home. It's not only that they're getting a divorce and that he has to move out, it's also that he's a hoarder. She offers to let him use her storage unit at her home for some time while he's getting his own place. He accepts, and then tells her his real situation. 

He informs her that he's going to be staying in a different living situation, paying weekly and with meals included. This means that it's not his place, nor can he put his stuff there. She revokes her offer, and he sulks. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for backing out of a promise to my ex partner?

    A couple in the process of a divorce
    via Andranik Hakobyan / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (36F) am in the process of separating from my partner (36M). We were together for 7.5 years, and our split is very amicable. We're still good friends.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 03
    We've always kept our finances separate. He has much better savings than me (he'd already been working for 10 years when
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 04
    we met, while I was still in uni), but I earn a higher salary now. We don't have kids or shared assets
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 05
    like a house. Property will be split evenly except for things that are clearly individual.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 06
    When we decided to separate, I chose to buy my first home (it's similar in cost to renting). He, on
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 07
    the other hand, didn't pass the credit check for a mortgage due to some poor financial choices.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 08
    His broker gave him a clear path to fix things within 3 months, and in the meantime he arranged to live with a friend.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 09
    The issue: he's a hoarder. Our garage and attic are absolutely packed with his stuff. My new
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 10
    house has a very large shed, so I offered to let him store his things there temporarily until he got into
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 11
    his new home. He gratefully accepted.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 12
    Tonight he came home and told me that his new housing deal is full board (meals included) for
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 13
    $200/week. He's earning around $75k, and now he says he wants to stay there for a whole year.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 14
    A messy home with lots of stuff
    via Africa images / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    When he told me this, I kind of lost it. I told him my offer was off the table if he expected me to
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75

  • It's incredible that they can stay very good friends. It's ideal, but I don't know how common it is. I've stayed friends with exes before, but usually it turns into some sort of drama when they start seeing someone new. I can't imagine staying friends with an ex after marriage though, it feels like it's in a different situation. 

  • 16
    hold onto all his stuff for 6+ months. He's now sulking and
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 17
    Divorce papers and wedding rings
    via Kameleon007 / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    upset with me for backing out, and I feel guilty for being sharp. with him.
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 19
    So, AITA for going back on my offer? Or am I justified in not wanting to be stuck as the long- term storage unit for my ex's hoarding problem?
    via u/Feisty-Measurement75
  • 20
    Phish Guy 117 He can afford a storage unit
    via u/PhishGuy117
  • 21
    endor-pancakes You're not reneging on your promise, you're just not subscribing to an insane
    via u/endor-pancakes
  • 22
    interpretation of it. He can rent storage is it's a better deal for him. NTA
    via u/endor-pancakes

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